So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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