I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize
