How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
