is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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