Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
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