Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
