is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
