If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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