Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
are you so shy because you have an std?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
