I must be too annoying 4 u.
There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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