So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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