ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
