the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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