is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize