Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
