she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize