He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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