Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
