question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
