Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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