I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
