i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
