Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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