We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
