i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
