You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
