His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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