Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
