she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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