He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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