Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
