You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
