are you still at the devil's house?
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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