definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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