She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
