My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
