hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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