That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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