I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize