She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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