After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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