i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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