Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
