it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
