Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
My liver just had a heart attack.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
