I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
