omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
