i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
