Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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