I must be too annoying 4 u.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
