You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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