I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
