Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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