So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
