are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
it hurts more in the daytime
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
