Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
wrigley field is MILF paradise
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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