we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
