I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
