She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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